I’m plugging away with two jobs right now. I’m not really in high gear yet, but it’s going to steadily rise over the next few weeks. I’ve been cast in an adaptation of a turn of the century French farce called ‘A Flea in Her Ear’. I’ll be portraying Rugby, a randy English guest at the hotel the second act takes place in. I’m also Stage Managing said production. Ergo, things are going to pick up fast. However, I feel I can handle it. Things have been pretty chill lately. My health insurance went through and I finally got my ADHD meds. It’s too early to say if they’re helping or not as I start tomorrow, but I’m quite pleased to have that paperwork mess behind me. Playing phone quarterback between pharmacy, doctor’s office AND insurance company is absulutely agonizing. Has to be done, things being what they are. Still though, ick.
So yeah, I’ve never Stage Managed a show I’m in before. New challenge. Woo! It’s been slowly occuring to me that theatre could well be my ticket out of working in the kitchen. The local college has a technical theatre program I’m simply itching to check out. But… I have to wait a bit and keep doing what I’m doing. None of this will happen without a car or better money. If at all possible I have to maintain bank hours as it allows me to do nights and weekends in theatre. It’s what I love doing and I would therefore be a fool of profound magnitude to not pursue it.
I’m serious. I feel like in the nearly three years I’ve been at that Playhouse I’ve been slowly building my skills and knowledge. It’s time to go full steam with it and turn all this work into something I can live off. Getting off of disability was a good start. However, I need to challenge myself and do what I know in my heart I want to do. Acting is great. I love it. Paid acting would be neat too, but I want to really learn all the ins and outs of tech theatre, particularly lighting.
There were many times in my twenties I felt myself collapsing under the weight of my own angst and frustration. How I survived is honestly a bit of a puzzle to me. I’ve just calmed down a bit with age I suppose. With experience comes learning. A lot of that stuff I’ve just done my best to let go of and try to focus on the perplexing beauty of life’s many manifestations.
Between getting out of an awful relationship that sucked the life out of me and getting off the crazy check I feel something I’ve not felt in a while. Confident. Hopeful as well. Aside from that things have been pretty chill. Got some Bloom County, my King Diamond albums, and many other forms of nerdery at my disposal. All of which are keeping me highly amused. Little by little things fall in place for me as long as I maintain a state of steadfast persistence.
Spiritually I’m always in a very strange place. Having grown up with Catholic influence and having attended an Orthodox Church for a time, I do basically identify as a Christian. However, I lean more toward an esoteric understanding in the vein of Rosicrucianism and/or Gnosticism. I believe Christianity is a mystery religion with many mystical facets not known to the masses. I also highly disagree with the rote memorization, fanaticism and legalism of the various forms of Church Orthodoxy. Simply not my cup of tea.
Anyhow, I feel that in a very real sense that my star is slowly but surely rising. Let’s see where it goes, eh?